


Achromatopsia

by abnormalphangirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colors, M/M, black and white
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-06-26 04:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15655494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnormalphangirl/pseuds/abnormalphangirl
Summary: I see red and yellow. All the colors they told us about. The greens and blues. But I would go back to black and white if it meant I didn't have to live with the pain that you don't see them too.





	1. Red

**Author's Note:**

> soulmate au
> 
> you see the world in black and white until you meet your soulmate and they bring color into your life

** Passion **

Phil stumbled in through the doors of the classroom, clutching his backpack that was plastered with lions and other animals, apology after apology spilling out of his mouth as he glanced around the small room to spot a seat. Of course,  _he_  would be late to the first day of secondary school. And now there weren't any seats in the classroom by his friends who all gave him a pitiful look as he took a seat at the back of the room, next to a shy looking boy wearing a black jumper and white jeans.

He gave the other boy a small smile as he slid into his seat, pulling his notebooks out of his bag to set on the table. He came to the conclusion that the kid next to him was probably new to the school since Phil knew everyone he went to primary school with. Phil glanced over to read the name written neatly at the top of the boy's binder.  _Daniel_. A pretty name. And he seemed like he wasn't a jerk, so maybe this year wasn't going to be too terrible.

"Hi, I've never seen you around. I'm Phil," he said softly to the boy, smiling a bit as he watched him jump in his seat.

"I've gone here since Primary school," Daniel giggled a bit, turning to face him as he brushed the hair out of his face. "I've seen you around though, Phil. I'm Dan."

"How have I never seen you before?" Dan shrugged as he turned back, drawing more on his binder, making little swirls with his pen. Phil took in a deep breath as he looked back at the teacher, listening to her go on and on about how the year was going to go on, but his mind couldn't stay focused on it for too long. He kept looking around the room, unable to keep the same thing that was on his mind since he could remember.

Color.

Phil has been fascinated with the idea of colors, how and when he will get to see them, and just how much that would change his life. As soon as students enter primary school, they begin their journey to find their true loves. That sounds overdramatic, however, at that age, they learn why their world has been monochromatic.

Blacks and whites and greys fill the children's mind at that point but sometime in their life, they will meet someone. Their eyes will meet from across the room at a party or they brush against each other in the streets, and all of a sudden. Colors. The things their teachers taught them about. The reds, greens, blues. And everything was good.

Phil couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that eventually, everything would click into place. A fairytale ending and a great life. He could get married and have kids and explain to them about the colors he could so vividly see.

The shrill tone of the bell ringing filled Phil's ears, making him jump in his seat with a quiet yelp. His face flushed as he heard Dan giggle next to him, covering his mouth as Phil turned to glare playfully at him.

"Zoned out?" Dan asked as he began shoveling his books and binders into the back that sat limply next to the leg of the table. Phil just nodded as he grabbed his notebook, holding it to his chest as he stood up.

"Where do you go next, Phil?" he asked as he brushed his hair out of his eyes, slinging his back over his shoulder. Phil shoved his hand in his pocket, pulling out the crumbled up schedule from it, smoothing it out as best he could.

"Beginner Chemistry," he read out, glancing up to Dan who had a shy smile on his face.

"I go there too. Could we walk together so I don't get lost?" he asked timidly, earning a grin from Phil.

"This is the same building as we went to Primary school. It's like two hallways. It's basically impossible t-" he paused as he watched Dan's smile fade away as he nodded, staring down at his schools. Phil cleared his throat. "Let's go."

Dan grinned and looked up, his eyes lighting up before he clutched his bag eagerly as the two boys exited their homeroom together.

-

Phil lightly tapped on Dan's window, sitting on the small segment of the roof that was beneath the window. It was now a year to the date that Phil had met Dan on the first day of Secondary school and now the two are pretty much inseparable. They pretty much just live at each other's houses and go to all the same parties held by their classmates, but now that Phil was grounded and sentenced to his room for the week, they had to be more creative about the way that they saw each other. Usually, Phil wouldn't sneak out of the house ever, let alone at one in the morning on a Tuesday. 

Dan stumbled out of bed, wrapping his arms around his bare stomach, self-conscience of his slightly chubby pale skin. He walked slowly over to the window, his brows furrowed before rolling his eyes as he pushed his window open, glaring at Phil. 

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be grounded," he whispered, making sure his parents didn't hear he talking to him. Then his eyes lightened up as he noticed the faint tear trails down Phil's cheeks. He ushered him through the window and into his room, removing his arms from around himself to wrap them around Phil's back, leading him to his bed. They sat down on the bed, Dan sitting back against the headboard as he stared at Phil. 

"What happened, Phil?" Dan whispered, staring at him with love in his eyes, blinking a few times before reaching forward to meet Phil as he collapsed into Dan's chest, sobs leaving his mouth. Dan pouted slightly, his heart aching with every cry. They sat on Dan's bed, Phil lurched against his chest with tears rolling down his cold cheeks before about an hour before Phil's tears dried up and they sat in silence. 

"What happened to you?" he asked quietly, running his fingers through Phil's dark hair, pulling it off of his forehead lightly, staring down at him with soft eyes. 

"Chris called," he whispered against Dan's chest, his eyes closing slightly. "He told me that Pj- that's his new boyfriend, has blue eyes." Dan took in a sharp breath and nodded slightly, resting his head against the headboard. He knew about Phil's obsession with finding his soulmate so everytime one of his friends found their 'one' it ended with him shunning them as a friend and typically, sobbing in Dan's arms. 

"It's okay. We're only 13, Phil," he said softly, loosening his arms a bit. "We have plenty of time," he whispered, staring at the wall next to him with a soft sigh. 

"But I wish I knew who it was," Phil whispered, "I want to meet her." 

Dan dug his teeth into his bottom lip as he nodded slightly in acknowledgment, "I wish he knew too,"


	2. Orange

 

** Change **

  
High school. They knew it would be different; fewer classes together, shorter lunches, different study periods. But, deep down, Dan knew this would be easier.

He could distance himself from Phil, just hoping and praying that that method would lessen his pain because Dan was hopelessly in love.

It seemed that every moment he spent with Phil; every sleepover, birthday party, winter holiday, and stupid thing they do together just hammers it into Dan's mind. He loves Phil. So, he's going to spend a much time away from him, hoping that it will resolve his confusion.

Dan stood in front of his full-length mirror, staring over his body at three in the morning. His black jeans clung to his legs and blue jumper hung loosely over his torso. He chewed on his lip as he grabbed the jumper in his hand, glancing down at it. Through his mind, he remembered the only reason he bought it years ago was that the blue reminded him of Phil's eyes.

He knew Phil would be here in a few hours, ready for their walk to school this year, much longer than it was before because the high school was on the other side of town. Longer for Dan to stare at his feet and longer for Phil to stare at Dan in worry.

What the hell was wrong with him anyway?

Was it even possible to fall in love without being soul mates? Because Phil had made it clear that Dan was not his soul mate. In fact, he made it so clear that it was starting to break his heart.

He couldn't give Phil what he wanted- even _needed_ to be happy, which was color.

The soft rapping on his door hours later let him know that it was time. He needed to face this with a smile and make Phil not worry as much as he knew he was going to.

Dan swung the door open as he pulled his backpack onto his back, pushing his hair back as he peered at Phil's outfit.

It was adorable. He couldn't bother to seek out guidance with his color coordination ever so there he stood, black jeans, red shirt, and mismatched socks and shoes.

"Hi, are you ready?" Phil chirped. He was so excited. "I want to get there early to make sure that I can get seats next to you in all my classes."

"You know there's a possibility that we won't have classes together, Phil. There's a lot more now," he teased with a pseudo grin as he stepped out of his house, letting the cold wind hit him almost as hard as the fact that he was in high school now.

That's when people started dating, finding their soul mates. Yeah, he never really took Phil as the type to date around but now nothing was stopping him from doing it. Was he going to leave Dan? Find someone better, who he was in love with?

 _Soul mate_ s

Dan hated that word now. Phil corrupted it for him. It was always _soul mates this_ and _soul mates that._ He was over it.

His mind was going a mile a minute as he and Phil approached the school. Phil had spent the whole walk talking about how happy he was to be in high school and Dan was about to snap.

"Okay, I get it." Dan huffed, his teeth grinding as Phil stopped in his tracks.

"O-oh..." he stuttered. "I didn't know I was upsetting you."

"It just got a little annoying."

"I'll shut up about it. I'm just nervous."

"Nervous about what? It's going to be pretty much the same as before."

Phil swallowed and nodded, staring down at his feet as they continued walking in silence. Dan felt bad for snapping, but he couldn't apologize for it. He couldn't bring himself to accept that it hurt him too much to watch Phil in pain and upset.

"I won't have you, that's all."

-

Phil paced outside Dan's house. It was a few weeks after school had started and the day was supposed to be like any other day. At 6, Phil would pick Dan up for their walk. But this time, Phil had something on his mind.

As Dan cracked the door open, Phil stopped to turn and face him. His body ached with anxiety and nervousness but also the eagerness to get his feelings out in the open to at least one person.

Dan's face turned from a smile to a frown as noticed Phil's serious tone.

"What's wr-"

"I'm gay," he admitted with a grin, crossing his arms. Dan stumbled back a bit, furrowing his brows.

"What?"

"I'm gay. I like boys," Phil stated proudly. "I've been trying to figure for a while why I couldn't seem to be normal. Did you know I turned down Cat last week? Any straight guy would've loved to be in a relationship with Cat. But I'm not straight. I don't like her. Or any others girls really."

Dan stood there dumbfounded as Phil continued to sputter out more nonsense.

"—you should totally ask out Cat. It'd be nice. You two could see a movie, maybe go out to e—"

"Whoa, whoa." Dan laughed softly, stopping Phil as he put his hands on his shoulders. "Phil, I don't want to date Cat."

"What? Why not? She's pretty and nice and she has good grades."

"I thought you would've figured it out without me having to say it. Phil, I'm gay." Dan said softly, brushing his hair away. "I didn't think it was that important to tell you."

"You didn't think being gay was important enough to tell your best friend? Your wing man? How am I supposed to help you find your soul mate if I thought I was looking for a girl." Phil grinned at Dan as the other forced a smile and a nervous laugh. His stomach sank and his heart nearly stopped as he felt Phil leave a soft kiss on his cheek before turning around to head off for school.


	3. Yellow

**Joy**

  
Phil's finger lightly tapped on Dan's window, his body perched on the roof as it had multiple times before. The clock had just struck midnight, and he knew that Dan would still be awake.

Dan pulled himself out of bed, sauntering to the window, knowing very well that it was going to be Phil. He knelt down as he pushed the window open, grinning at him slightly.

"What do you want, Philly?"

"I came to chat," Phil answered as he climbed clumsily into Dan's room.

"Casually? At midnight?" Dan giggled as he took Phil's hand to bring him over to his bed. This was normal, little meetings at the early hours of the morning. He always would take Phil's hand and lead him to the bed for them to sit.

"Yeah, because guess what?"

"You suck?" Dan teased as he sat against his wall, Phil taking a seat across from them. Phil rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at him.

"Ha Ha. I wish," he joked before shaking his head. "We start year 10 in a week."

"A week?" Dan groaned, tilting his head back. "Too soon."

"But we'll be two years from graduating. In a week!" Phil said cheerfully, almost bouncing from excitement. Dan smiled as he looked back at Phil, watching as he grinned and looked around the room a bit before landing his eyes on Dan.

Silence filled the room as the boys stared at each other in the dim light coming from the fairy lights Dan had installed around his room. Phil cracked a nervous smile as he pulled his eyes away, clearing his throat. As Phil turned back to Dan, he smiled, his cheeks heating up enough to melt ice. He leaned forward as he quickly cupped Dan's cheek and pressed their lips together.

Dan stumbled back as Phil kissed him,  hesitating before reaching up to pull him closer. Phil pulled away slightly, opening his eyes to look at Dan before clearing his throat and sitting back.

"S-Sorry," Phil stuttered as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Dan froze as he stared at Phil, trying to get his words out.

"N-No, it's okay," he choked out.

"I-I just heard that sometimes you don't know if someone is your soul mate until you kiss them, sometimes. So, I just wanted to try."

Dan nodded slightly, "Did it work?"

"Well you don't see color, do you?" Phil mumbled, leaning back onto the bed. Dan's throat filled with what felt like fire. He knew he was going to cry. His body began to heat up as he blinked away tears,

Dan wanted to scream. He wanted to yell at Phil, tell him everything. Tell him that he was in love with him. Tell him that his eyes were blue. Tell him that his dumb socks didn't match.

Phil cleared his throat and got up off the bed, muttering a soft apology and goodbye before disappearing through the window.

-

The week of summer that was remaining came and went without another appearance of Phil. It wasn't until the morning of the first day of school that Dan saw Phil again.

Phil knocked on Dan's door at 6 like every other day, Dan grabbing his bag and heading out with him to walk to school.

"I didn't know if you'd come this morning." Dan said softly as they walked. Phil cleared his throat and stared down at his feet.

"Why would you think that?"

"You've been pretty hidden for a while. Seems like I did something to upset you."

"No, you did nothing to upset me. I was just hanging out with other people." Phil explained, making Dan frown and nod a little. Who was Phil hanging out with? All their friends were on holiday for the summer.

"Oh, who was it?"

"David," he said, chewing on his lip. "He likes me."

Dan's heart shattered as he nodded, looking away from him. "Does he? Well that's nice. Do you like him?"

Phil smiled slightly, "I don't know. He's sweet. And he's pretty."

"So are you going to date him?"

"I think I am," he grinned, "Is that okay?"

Dan furrowed his brows, "Why wouldn't it? I'm not in control of your life."

"I just—" he paused. "Last week..." he whispered.

Dan sucked in a breath. "Last week was nothing. It's fine. Ask him out." Phil nodded eagerly and smiled, blush covering his cheeks. Dan smiled back slightly before staring down at his feet. Well, at least Phil was happy, right?


	4. Green

** Envy **

  
"I think I love him,"

Dan's head shot up out of his book to look at Phil with amazement. It had been an entire semester of this. Dan would sit down to do his homework and Phil would sit down and talk his ear off about David.

Then those words left his mouth.

"Well, are you sure? I mean, it's only been a few months," Dan stumbled over his words carefully, trying not to seem hurt. Phil shrugged a bit as he picked at the little balls of lint that were on his jumper. Pink.

"I read that it only takes three seconds to fall in love. So why not three months?" Phil explained, "He just sweeps me off my feet and makes me feel..."

"Like time has stopped when we are together." Dan whispered softly, grinding his teeth as he looked down. He knew the feeling.

"Exactly. Like time stops."

"But, he's not your soul mate," he held back from adding 'I am' to the end.

"I don't know if I should actually believe in that crap. Where's the proof that my soul mate didn't get hit by a car or die of a disease. They might not be out there. So, why should I keep myself from being happy for the time being."

Dan nodded along, not actually paying attention to the words leaving his mouth, his brain jumbled with those words until he was about to break.

"So, you love him?"

"I love him." Phil beamed as he looked back down at his phone, continuing to text David as Dan stared at him with soft tears pricking at his eyes.

~

Dan cleared his throat uncomfortably, staring at his lap, cherishing this view versus the one just ahead of him. In a chair across the room, David with his hands weaved in Phil's hair, the older boy perched on David's lap as they giggled to one another.

When Dan invited Phil to his place to spend the night and play Mario Kart while his parents weren't home, he wasn't expecting him to bring David.

He hated David.

David hated him too.

But Phil only loved one of them, he made that perfectly clear.

Dan was second, since Phil got with David, he was pushed to the side, almost an afterthought. Like "oh yeah maybe I should pick Dan up for school" or "well I have nothing else to do right now, I'll go over to Dan's house."

To be fair, he didn't think Phil realized he was doing it. He just had someone better in his life. But the fact that David wasn't even Phil's soulmate broke him the most.

Phil was willing to be in with someone who wasn't his soulmate but not him.

"You okay over there, Dan?" David asked as he kissed Phil's head, making Dan's stomach bubble with anger and jealousy.

"Just peachy," he practically growled with annoyance. Phil glanced up quickly as he noticed the change in Dan's tone. Looking from David to Dan with a soft sigh.

"Can you get me a drink, honey?" he asked, movingly slightly so that David could move out from under him. He gave him a soft grin as he left the room, leaving Phil and Dan alone.

After a bit of silence, Phil spoke up. "What's wrong, Dan?"

"Nothing." he mumbled, "Just thought that when I invited you over that we'd get to hang out." Dan spat, noticing the furrowing of Phil's brows in anger. 

"What do you mean, we are hanging out."

"No, we aren't. You and David are. I'm just sitting here." 

"What do you want me to do? Kick him out?" Phil scoffed, clenching his jaw. Dan could tell by the darkening of his face and the small twitches of his eye that he was getting angry, and fast.

"Maybe you shouldn't have brought him," he spat, rolling his eyes a bit when Phil looked hurt. "I didn't want to sit here and watch you two be all over each other."

"All over each other?" Phil whispered yelled, making sure that David didn't hear. "We aren't even doing anything! Since when were you such a prude."

"I'm not, I just don't want you sucking face with him right in front of me."

Phil scoffed and rolled his eyes, "We aren't! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, what's wrong with you? To bring him here like that. You've got to be out of your mind." Dan spat, standing up and storming to his room. He listened as Phil sighed and grabbed David, mumbling something about leaving and the door clicking behind them.

Dan was fuming with anger, his jaw clenching as he paced around his room, his face heating up, a signal that tears were to come.

How could Dan pick David over him?


	5. Blue

** Sadness **

  
It was a few weeks of walking to school alone for Dan. He didn't even want to look at Phil, his body just ripped itself apart every time he saw him. Smiling, happy. He was happy without Dan in his life anymore.

It seemed like Dan's life was ripping apart at the seams, everything was spilling out and it was all his fault.

He is the one who yelled at Phil. He told him that he didn't like him for being with David. He made Phil leave.

Every moment felt as if he was about to break. He hadn't slept in days, eaten less than one meal a day, done no homework. He was a wreak.

It wasn't until Phil knocked on his door at 6 am that Dan realized how bad he had gotten.

"Holy shit, are you okay, Dan?" Phil exclaimed as Dan opened the door, his hand flying up to poke at the deep purple bags found under Dan's new dull eyes. He flinched back, swatting Phil's hand away, knitting his brows.

"What are you doing?"

"I came to walk to school. With you." Phil said softly, clearing his throat as he glanced away. "I... Uh, broke up with David." Dan's heart jumped and he stared blankly at him, clearing his throat.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just didn't like some things he was telling me to do."

"Like what? I will beat his ass if he—"

"No, nothing like that. He didn't want me hanging out with you," Phil said, running his hands through his hair. "I couldn't do it. I tried because I wanted him to stay with me because I thought I needed him but that's not true I need—" he rambled as he swallowed deeply. "You."

Dan froze as Phil spoke, his heart beating out of his chest. Did Phil like him? Finally? It seemed like it forever since Dan started to feel for Phil, maybe he was finally catching up.

"—you're such a great friend and I should've known that I could count on our lifetime of friendship more than this three-month relationship but I was just blinded. I couldn't see anything other than this guy is paying attention to me." Phil was running out of breath, his head falling a bit as he tried to find his words.

"I shouldn't have given you up. I was in love. Love makes you..."

"Do anything for it." Dan breathed out softly, staring at Phil with a slight smile. "I get it. It's fine, Phil. I missed you."

"I missed you more," Phil joked as he smiled. Dan chuckled slightly, pushing away his thoughts that said 'I doubt that' as he grabbed his hand leading him inside the house, ignoring the fact that they were supposed to be on their trek to school.

~  
Dan laid his head against Phil's chest, paying attention to the movie in front of them. This was a new tradition. Skipping every Wednesday of school to watch a movie or play some games or whatever they wanted to do. This week it was pizza and a movie. Almost like a date. But, Phil didn't like Dan. 

Phil got to pick the movie, a romance of course. A sappy, gross, romance. And there's nothing Dan wants more than to be able to have that with Phil. Just as Dan thought that Phil's arms wrapped around his torso, holding him closer. 

Dan was breaking. He should be happy. His best friend was this close to him, he was able to do this. But deep down he knew that it meant nothing and that he was nothing. Dan didn't realize he had begun to cry until Phil reached up and wiped the wetness from his cheeks. 

"It's okay, I'm sure they get together in the end," Phil spoke softly, nearly breaking Dan more. His chest ached as he nodded, trying to tune back into the movie. 

"-I guess you've never loved me" the television blared at him, the two figures on the screen facing each other in the street, rain beating on their skin. "I've always loved you, you are the problem here." the other returned, making Dan's heart drop like a stone in a lake. 

"I can relate," Dan muttered under his breath subconsciously, freezing as he realized he said it aloud. After spending a moment waiting to see if Phil had heard him, he let out a deep breath. 

"You can relate to what?" Phil asked softly, removing his arms from around him, leaning back a bit. Dan rolled his eyes to himself, of course he heard. 

"Oh, nothing," he responded quietly, playing with his fingers slightly. It was now nearly when Dan returned home from school, which meant that his mom would be coming home in about an hour.

"We should get dressed. We're still in pajamas." Dan said quietly, lightly grazing his finger over Phil's pajama pants.

"I guess we should. Can I borrow clothes?"

"I don't know, you still haven't returned mine from last week." Dan teased, brushing the hair out of Phil's face as he got up off his bed.

"I'll bring both sets next week."

"Then you can. Just go look in the closet and grab me something while you're in there."

Phil nodded and headed to the closet, scanning it for clothes he was interested in wearing. After a moment, Dan wandered over to him, resting his head on his shoulder to peer into the closet.

"Why don't you wear that one?" Dan asked, vaguely pointing towards a shirt.

"Which one?"

"The red one, right there." Dan said, tugging on the sleeve of a red flannel shirt. He felt Phil tense up in front of him, noticing the slight knitting of his brows. Then it hit Dan. He had said red. The red shirt.

He spent his entire life keeping that away, since Primary school. And today he just so happened to break it.

"W-What?" Phil asked, pulling away from Dan.

"U-Uh, that one." Dan replied, pointing in the closet again, his hand shaking just enough to be seen.

"Dan, when did you..." Phil choked out a bit, "Did you?"

"No, of course not." he blurted out, wrapping his arms around himself as he tried to hide himself from Phil.

"Then how did you—"

"I didn't! I misspoke!"

"You didn't. No one makes that mistake. Why didn't you tell me?" Phil asked, "Who is it?" Dan's eyes started to water as he backed away from Phil. 

"I-I'm sorry, Phil." 

"Who is it?"

"I can't'..." he whispered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I can't tell you."

"Why not, Dan?" Phil choked out, "Is it David?" he asked softly. Dan shook his head, clutching his stomach. 

"Phil, you don't understand."

"No, I don't. Just explain it."

"I can't!" Dan sobbed, tears now freely flowing down his cheeks. Phil shook his head slightly as he pushed past him to leave his room. Dan listened to the distancing steps going down the stairs until the front door closed behind Phil.

Phil could never understand it, no one could. He was a freak. An anomaly. And now he was alone.


	6. Purple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter and the next one (chapter 6 & 7) are both going to be shorter than usual, sorry about that but it is on purpose, I'm not just lazy

**Enlightenment**

  
The bustling streets of mid-London during rush hour was not the place for a teenager. Cars barrelling past without a care, sketchy street peddlers approaching what appears to be only a select number of people, and hookers on each corner. That's what Phil found as he fled Dan's house. Tears trickled down his face, passersby peering at his unstable expressions. 

Why had he left Dan like that? Dan was obviously upset as well, they should have talked it out. He shouldn't have left. But it was too late to go back now. He ruined his friendship with Dan over something as stupid as him finding his soulmate. It was supposed to be a happy thing, but Dan seemed to find no happiness in it. 

Was it because Phil was finding no happiness?

Phil stopped walking, furrowing his brows a bit as his mind raced as fast as the cars beside him.

Dan wasn't happy about finding his soulmate because he was upset about not finding his.

Phil sucked in a breath and cursed under his breath as he turned around, immediately starting back towards Dan's, fully expecting him to not be there.

As he pushed forward on his trek, his shoulder slammed against a passerby, his hand instinctively reaching out to grab where he hit, trying to steady their tumbling body. He looked up, locking eyes with the shorter girl he ran into.

She was about his age, maybe a little younger. Her bright brown eyes contrasted with her pale brown skin and cheeks dotted with redish freckles, something he had never seen before. Just small changes in the grayscale he was used to. Still no color. As he locked eyes with her, her eyes lit up, pupil expanding nearly double the size of before.

"Holy shit," she whispered, her slightly high pitched voice ringing through Phil's head like a knife on his already wretched headache.

"Are you okay, I didn't hurt you, did I?" Phil asked, looking her over as he removed his hand from her shoulder.

"No, of course not. I'm fine," she spoke quickly. "You're really calm right now."

"Yeah, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Sorry."

"I'm not talking about you bumping into me," she paused, furrowing her brows a bit. Reminded him of Dan. "You don't see it?"

"See wh—" he froze, blinking a few times in an attempt to get the color she was talking about to drain in his eyes. "No. I don't." he whispered softly.

"So, wait, you're my soulmate but I'm not yours?" she asked quietly. Then the truth hit Phil like a ton of bricks.

He needed to get back to Dan.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening, just go fall in love with someone, tell them they're your soulmate, I don't know. I really have to go. My friend needs me." Phil managed to get out before breaking into a full sprint towards Dan's house.


	7. Black

**Grief**

  
How could he be this stupid?

Dan slammed his bedroom door behind Phil as he left, trying to keep his vision clear long enough to make it to the bed. He tripped over his feet as he stumbled back to his bed, collapsing onto the soft mattress, memories flooding into his head. He and Phil spent their childhood on that bed. He fell in love with Phil on that bed. Phil kissed him on that bed. But now his life was changing on that bed.

He lost his best friend. Phil was gone and probably wasn't coming back ever. And it was his fault. He didn't tell him. He kept it from him for so long. Was it too late to tell him?

Should he have told him?

Dan's mind raced as he curled up in a ball with his knees pressed hard against his chest. Probably hard enough to leave bruises. He couldn't even be bothered to pull the blanket over him as he sobbed into the pillows.

It felt like time sat still. He was alone and time had stopped in its tracks. Every second felt like a century and every minute, a millennia. Once his tears dried up, leaving behind a faint salty trail in his skin, it sped back up to meet the pace of his heart.

Dan shot up, fingers searching the mattress for his phone that hid somewhere in the blanket. He needed Phil to know. He deserved to know. As he dialed his number and held it against his ear with a shaking hand, a small rap on the door made him drop the phone.

"Dan, I know you're in there," Phil said softly, shifting from one foot to another outside his door. "Can I come in?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned y'all that this one would be short 
> 
> next one will be super long dont worry
> 
> xoxo


	8. White

**Goodness**

  
Dan stumbled out of bed and pulled open his door, coming face to face with Phil and his tear streaked face.

"I'm sor-" Dan started, being cut off by arms wrapping around him.

"No, it's fine. I know what happened." Phil said softly as he pulled away. He froze as he left Phil's grasp, swallowing his fear a little to speak quietly.

"Y-You do?"

"Yeah, I do." he nodded a bit, leading Dan to the bed to sit. "I don't know you felt you needed to be ashamed."

Dan furrowed his brows, "What do you mean? Of course I need to be ashamed. I'm i-" he paused, clearing his throat a little. "I'm broken."

Phil frowned a bit and reached forward to hug him again. "You aren't broken. You're just a little different. I met someone just like you on my walk. They bumped into me and I didn't see color but they did. I'm sure whoever it is that you're soulmates with is just laying dormant or something."

Dan pulled back a bit, "Phil, I thought you knew."

"I do. Your soulmate can't see color, so you were embarrassed." Phil said softly, watching as Dan sighed and stood up, shaking his head.

"Oh god, I don't want to say but you need to know..." Dan mumbled, covering his face with his hands. "Phil, I'm going to try to put this in the best words I can," he paused, clearing his throat again. "I see red and yellow. All the colors they told us about. The greens and blues. Oh god, they're so beautiful. But I would go back to black and white if it meant I didn't have to live with the pain that you don't see them too. You're my soulmate, Phil. And it destroys me to know that I'm not yours." he choked on his words at the end, chewing on his lip as he watched Phil's face change. There were what felt like years of silence in between them before Phil spoke up.

"Why am I broken?" he whispered, looking up at Dan after a moment. "I-I'm hurting people. I'm so sorry, I had no clue. I-I didn't mean to hurt you at all but I'm broken and I don't know how to get better." Phil sobbed, collapsing into the blankets, Dan quickly moving to sit next to him.

"You aren't broken. I promise you aren't. It's me."

"But why am I like this? People think I'm their soulmate but I still don't see color." 

"I'm sure it's not you," he said softly as he laid down next to him, his hands cupping Phil's soft cheeks. "But if it would make you feel better, I can look some stuff up tonight. Figure out if this has happened before." Phil smiled slightly, nodding as he wiped his eyes.

"Thank you."

-  
Dan pounded on Phil's window, the moon accompaning him on his trip to his house. It was about 2 am, the lights turned off all throughout the Lester house, however Phil was far from asleep.

He scurried out of the bed in his pajamas, pushing open the window after some struggle.

"You're color blind." Dan whispered as he climbed in the window. Phil furrowed his brows in confusion as he followed him to his bed.

"I'm what?"

"It's a condition that makes it so that your eyes cannot process color. It just shows up as black and white. Well, at least one type of it. It's called Achromatopsia."

"That explains the colors but why do I have two soulmates?"

"That's happened in the past. One of us is premature. There's no real way to find out which one if you can't confirm when you saw it. So, it's basically up to you."

Phil smiled a little as he laughed, "You just want me to pick you, ya big dummy." Dan laughed and grinned, nodding a bit.

"A little. But let me make my case first. I've been in love with you since Primary school. You're my best friend, and I'll play Mario Kart with you and let you win when you feel bad about losing so much." Dan listed, grinning as he watched Phil shake his head a bit. 

"Of course I'm picking you over a stranger, Dan." Phil whispered, "I mean if I have to..." he teased, sticking his tongue out a bit. Dan grinned and wrapped his arms around his chest, holding him tightly. "You're so gushy, Dan. Gosh. You're acting like I just said that I love you and I want to be with you forever."

Dan rolled his eyes a bit, "Definitely not."

"So, how long have you loved me? The colors thing, I mean." Phil asked softly, brushing the hair out of Dan's eyes. 

"Primary school. You probably don't remember but you ran into me on the playground. And that's when I knew." 

Phil smiled softly, "Is there anyway I'll ever be able to see colors? I want to see how bright your eyes are or the color of the flowers I'm going to give you at prom." he asked quietly, staring at Dan's slight frown.

"Not as of now. But the doctors might know more."

"More than a 17 year old boy who knows how to google things? I'd hope so." Phil grinned, burying his head in the pillows, finally tuckered out.

"Let's go to sleep. We can talk more in the morning." Dan said as he watched Phil fade in and out of consciousness with a sloppy grin on his face. He laid down next to Phil, leave a soft kiss on his cheek. Phil grumbled slightly before shifting a bit to wrap his arms around Dan, bringing him closer.

"Good night love,"

-  
As Phil exited the doctors office about a week later, he whipped his phone out of his pocket, typing out a quick message to Dan.

'be there in a min'

He grinned as he pushed his glasses up a bit, having to adjust to wearing them again. He practically ran to Dan's house, moving at fast as he could. Phil knocked on the door slightly, his attitude reminding him of when he came out to Dan. He smiled slightly as he remembered that day.

Dan threw the door open and wrapped his arms around him in the hug they often found themselves in. Phil burrowed his head in Dan's neck, humming softly.

As they pulled apart, they smiled at each other, Dan poking Phil's new frames.

"Looking cute, four eyes." he teased. But Phil couldn't care less at this moment.

"Dan, your eyes are brown. Beautiful, beautiful brown. With little yellow flakes. And I'm wearing a blue jumper. You're wearing a red shirt." he paused a second. " _My_ red shirt. Where did you get that?" he asked, furrowing his brows slightly. Dan's eyes lit up as he grinned, tears pooling in his eyes, wrapping his arms around Phil's neck.

"Oh my god, how?" he cried into his neck.

"Special glasses. That's not important how did you get my shirt? Are you stealing out of my closet now?" he asked.

"Shut up that is so not important right now." he laughed softly, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I think it's important, that's my shirt."

"Fine, I stole it from you while you were in the shower the other day. Happy?"

"Very," he grinned, leaning down to press a deep kiss to Dan, holding him close. As they pulled away, the two disappeared into Dan's house together, laying on the couch with each other in their arms.

"How does it feel to finally join me in the world of color?" Dan teased quietly, pressing his head against Phil's chest.

"I think I cried at the doctors office, so it feels really really nice."

"So, what color flowers are you thinking for prom?"

"Maybe purple. Possibly white."

"Why white? White is boring. You could see it without the glasses." Dan said softly, glancing up at him.

"White isn't boring. It is all the colors. It represents eternal goodness and purity. White is a beautiful color, perfect for a beautiful boy." Phil hummed, kissing the top of his head longingly.

"Wow, what a way with words, Lester. You should be a linguist," he flushed.

"I might just do that, Howell, I might just."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow that's it
> 
> it's over now
> 
> xoxo

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Achromatopsia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312873) by [abnormalphangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnormalphangirl/pseuds/abnormalphangirl)




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